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Mama

Whoever I am and wherever I go, I know there is still a place for me inside you.

Looking back at the time I spent in my mother’s womb I realize that thought should be an impossible feat. But I have an imagination, an imagination that my mother always encouraged.

Why mother first you may wonder. Because my mom, she was my everything; until my memory came into play and I recall father and other siblings.

In her womb, my nostrils were not moving nor did I breath, yet I did not suffocate. I don’t recall running or my legs stretching, yet I climbed the walls of the womb I was enclosed in. I don’t recall conducting an orchestra, yet I was free, my arms pointing and gesturing and moving. I often swam in hers waters. The waters of the whole world, my world.

Now that I am born into this world of larger, much larger proportion; I remember the preparation my mother gave me and behold a new day every day. Rejoice in living.

Now my nostrils move and I breath by myself yet at times events would want to suffocate me if I let them. I feel lost at times looking for the place of safety that I was accustomed to.

Sometimes we allow life’s reality to be the limits of our world.

Remember we can be anything we want to be. Our mothers have prepared us already.

So I look back at the phrase: Whoever I am and wherever I go, I know there is still a place for me inside you.

Happy mothers day, Mama.

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People

“Half” of the world

Why half of the world? Because it’s my way of  saying: “Look people, it’s half already!” Now we can touch the other half and let them know how important women are.

In The Art of Drawing, by Bernard Chaet the phrase: “The purpose gives birth to the idea”, has made me understand something about our creative nature.

Let’s see now. We sometimes say to ourselves we have no ideas, right?

Really?

Put it this way. Do you have a purpose? Is there something that you think about a lot. Something you want to try and achieve, some time in the future?  If yes, then go for the purpose and the ideas will flow to support it.

Try it!

Probably crazy ideas at first. Don’t despair, I thought you said you had no ideas.

So where do ideas come from? Ideas come from the purpose you set yourself to attain, or someone else sets before you.

In 1971 I won the art prize for my class at Presbyterian Secondary School in Ghana. I received a book that was not by any stretch of the imagination an art related book. Strange! The book was: A Quarter of Mankind: An Anatomy of China today, by Dick Wilson.

My art teacher at the time was my aunt, Juliana Armar. Did she see something I couldn’t yet see?

Did she see that one day I would create a design and call it “Woman is The Key”, and out of the design would come a question. A question that I hope will put a large number of people into action mode.  A mode that will affect change.

The Question is: In your life what have you detected, that you can communicate as a vision and give direction to better women’s future.

By so doing you can help touch the world

Questions demand answers. So if you find in a given situation you have no answers, perhaps you have not yet asked the right question. In this project, we hope for answers that will provide the emotion that change needs, to get off the ground.

Many voices working together can bring about change.

I started with a few friends, then I broadened my outlook and continued my network on LinkedIn.

I have connected with some who were not yet born, when I thought of  “Woman is The Key” in May 1981. But I could not move forward without their birth and contribution into this worldwide project. There are also others whom I had probably already met but did not know it. Certainly I did not know that they would be a piece of the puzzle, that I could not solve by myself.

For example, I connected with a lady whose house I had been to many years ago when we were in high school. We were teenagers at the time living in Ghana. For the life of me I can’t remember if I ever spoke to her in person, but I do remember her family lived in the same neighbourhood as my best friend at the time. I actually went to her house a couple of times with my friend. Funny thing is I only remember asking about her brothers. We thought her Dad was very strict or something. Guess what, her Dad was not even around those years of her life.

Fast forward to now, there she is on LinkedIn as an architect and fashion designer, forty years later!

She is now helping to answer the Woman is The Key Question.  I wish I had looked her in the eyes then and said: “One day you will help me answer a question that will touch half the planet.” She would have thought: “Wow this dude has a big dream” or something to that effect.

So far I have found out that the people who answer a question about leading others, are usually those who have tried and done something for themselves.

However, small their effort, it’s still an inspiration to someone else.

Running with the idea that creativity and passion are important, let me introduce you to two ladies.

First, Helen Teague wrote back and said: “A sound sense of self worth is a healthy platform on which to live one’s life. Being able to develop self worth is obviously helped or hindered by character and environment.”

“I realize that an exploration of one’s creativity is a fruitful as well as robust route towards a balanced sense of self worth.”

“Any genuine exploration is bound to be full of blind alleys – and so choosing to go down – or up – a blind alley can seem a tough choice – unless each journey stems from an effort at creativity. Then there will always be a pay off. At the very least the blind alley would be an exploration of a creative possibility which in itself is a contribution to the quality of your life, and possibly to others lives. At best it will be revealing and fulfilling.”

“So I would say that being actively and purposefully creative every day is enhancing, may be liberating and could even result in a work of art.”

The second lady is Ofie Ofuatey-Kudjoe who said: “It is extremely important for us to identify our passions early in life, ensure that we do everything possible to hone our God-given talent; and work towards building our careers around both.”

“A career should not be that which you do just to make money. That’s a job and with that one must toil.”

“A career is that which brings you joy and fulfillment as it generates an income for you. Pursue this and you will never ‘work’ again.”

“Remember to live life to the fullest, love life in all that you do; and live love in all your interactions.”

There are many more voices coming. With new voices come new ways of looking at an old problem: how to motivate more people to succeed by removing the obstacles to their God-given destiny.

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People

Woman Is The Key Question

WITKTV — In your life what have you detected, that you can communicate as a vision and give direction to better women’s future. By so doing you can help touch the world.

NANA SPIO-GARBRAH — A very deep question you are asking here and hard to pinpoint a single attitude that I think I could communicate as instrumental, to peers wanting a better future. But one anecdote that I have taken is to never let yourself be pigeon-holed.

African society tends to try to put women in a box and assign us traditional gender roles — that of disciplined mother, quiet caregiver, gentle farm help. And western society sometimes pushes forward the other extreme, of cutthroat, aggressive, capitalistic, materialistic CEOs and prima donnas.

What I realized is that I am not an extreme. No woman is. We are nuanced. We can love babies desperately but not want to give up our careers for them. We can spend two hours deciding on a shade of lipstick at a MAC counter and then go to a gun range for practice.

We can wear a sequined gown to a cocktail dinner and make cogent political arguments about why Kagame has rescued Rwanda from itself. We do not have to choose between being damsels in distress or corporate ninjas. We can be both and/or neither, all at the same time. We should never let anyone box us in.

Woman is the key to everything and anything she sets her mind to be. 

NESSA DOVE (Musician/Band) – Hey Ken, I would say that women need to take time to truly love themselves and get to know themselves. Women are natural caregivers and nurturers and sometimes neglect themselves in trying to please others. But the more you love yourself by taking care of yourself and knowing yourself, the happier you will be and your inner light will shine and overflow onto others.
http://www.facebook.com/nessadove

JEAN ANDERSON – Hi. So I have been giving this a great deal of thought. I guess it is something that every parent should be thinking about as to what they can pass on to their own child. Specific to women, I feel that I didn’t really start figuring things out until just before meeting my husband. I was then already in my thirties. All those years and mistakes ago…. I feel that maybe I’m not a good one to ask. That’s info NOT for the blog. If there was one thing I FINALLY learned, it was that I must learn to live for myself. Do things I enjoy. Make my future happen for myself, by myself and not wait around for a man to make my future bright. Funnily, when I finally figured this out… about three months later I met my, now, husband. I had just put my down payment on a brand new, under construction, condo. Funny how it can take years to figure out what seems now to be simple.

ABOAGYE “MORE VIM” ANANE  (Musician) – Well, I have realised in our part of the world (Africa), women are not really given the opportunity to voice out their views and opinions about certain issues & affairs in our continent.

There is a saying that goes: ”What A Man Can Do A Woman Can Do Better” so women should take a stand in decision making, development and most important contributing in nation building

WITK – Thanks for a good input. What stopped women from taking action before?

ABOAGYE – You are always welcome. I would say due to our traditions & culture women were relegated to the kitchen whilst the men made all the decisions.

If even the decisions did not go in the favour of women, they would just take it in good faith.

WITK – How difficult is it to change traditions and culture?

ABOAGYE – To be honest it is very very difficult because these things (Culture & Tradition), are part of us as a people and a continent but due to modernization women are now empowered to compete with their male counterparts.

WITK – Empowered?

ABOAGYE – Through Women Rights Movements and some NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations).

WITK – Finally, how can we know if the new culture has been accepted by the people?

ABOAGYE – Hmmm, some have accepted some have not but to cap it all I think women now have a voice today.

LINDA PANAGOULIS – To believe in yourself. The biggest obstacle women face is confidence. It is ironic how many have grown up without a two parent home and without the encouragement to go for their dreams yet they are truly capable and while they may realize it, have not truly made it because they allow others opinions to hold them back. They are afraid to leap, yet could soar if they did!!

GO for your dreams with passion you will astound yourself…..

ANDREA ELBAUNE – Hi Ken, As far as the Woman is the Key question, I have to give it some thought. I am not very savvy with grammar nor wording things properly. Maybe that is part of my answer. I think to better a women’s future (or pretty much anyone’s) is to never take the easy road. Strive to be the very best you can be.

Growing up I got good grades in school. Had a chance to go to college but took the easy way out and just went straight to work. Should have reached for the stars, instead just settled.

Now at age 53 I have no money in the bank, listening to all my co-workers who are age 22 and up going off to college and thinking of their future careers. All I can think of is how I will pay my bills and will I be homeless when I reach 60!

The word future seems so distant. Makes you feel you have all the time in the world – the future is just around the corner. Set your goals high, strive for that goal and once you reach it – see if you can even go higher!

Never settle!!

This was written September 8, 2013. I wonder what she’s doing now?

THOKOZILE RANKOE – Education is the only key for women to survive in this world. We make better leaders cos we are considerate and compassionate.